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A long time silent July 3, 2008

Posted by Tina Simmons in love, optimism.
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1 comment so far

This is the longest I think I ever went between blog posts.  If you read my last one, you can see that I have a lot of questions, but that’s not what I’m going to write about now.

I’m writing about depression, boredom, and being boring.

I am personally struggling with a lot of stuff – my trans-ness, depression, a bipolar child who has paranoia issues, a wife who is struggling to deal with all this and her own depression and other issues as well.  Add work and trying to find moments to enjoy life into this, and I feel so overwhelmed it’s amazing that I can find a few moments to just type this right now.

But another thing that bothers me is that I think I’m falling into a trap where everything is about me, my trans-ness, and my depression, and I think that I end up becoming a one-note woman.  And I think a lot of us trans-people fall into this trap.  The trans-ness can become all-consuming, especially once you come out to someone who is having issues with this and you decide to be patient and try to let things take their course.

The truth is that trans-ness is just a part of me.  I love movies and I love being with people.  I really do enjoy the work that I do.  I often drive people crazy with my jokes.  I love to travel and I enjoy flying a lot (even with all the security stuff you have to go through I think the concept of an airplane is cool).  If I had my druthers I’d live in Hawaii – I visited their last year, I’ll be there again later this year, and I think it’s just about the perfect environment if it wasn’t so expensive to live there and so far away from family.

And I treasure my friends, who are few and far between.  I have developed the type of personality that tends to distance herself from others – probably because I have tried to hide my trans-ness from others, but that’s just a reason, not an excuse.  I would love nothing better than to just spend hours talking with someone about whatever we want to talk about.

So here’s to all the people out there who have issues and are trying to figure out how to enjoy life despite them.  And I hope that I can catch what you’ve got.